Emese Taylor

Sex & Relationship Therapist

Book an appointment 07943 621 149
emesetaylor@sextherapist.london

The Art of Flirting

It might sound trite to say that flirting is an artform, but it certainly bears many similarities. As with any art, some are naturally gifted and will excel with little effort, but equally those without the natural talent can study, learn and develop their own skills and techniques.

The graceful act of flirtation is a many splendored thing and there have been entire books written on the subject, but here are some simple and straight forward basic tips to get you started.

Eye Contact.

Maintaining eye contact is a very important way to make your interest in someone clear. It is also a way to form an unspoken intimate bond with someone. As the old saying goes “The Eyes are the Windows of the Soul” and to maintain eye contact with someone can not only suggest your interest in them but also your willingness to open up, to trust, to offer something of yourself.

Now, this isn’t to say that you should walk up to someone and fix them in an intense stare off! Rather maintain contact whilst talking with someone instead of looking around distractedly, fidgeting or in any other way suggesting that your concentration is not focused 100% on them.

A classic form of eye contact is the “Look, look away, then look back” technique. Across a crowded room this lets someone know that you have noticed them and taken more than a passing interest…

As Simple as a Smile.

This might seem a little obvious, but a receptive and open demeanor is a better tact to use than cold indifference. A smile is a great way to let someone know that you are happy to be in their company, that you are relaxed and glad to be talking with them .

Don’t overdo it though! A friendly relaxed smile is the way forward here, looking like a maniac might give the wrong impression, so spend sometime in front of the mirror working on that charming smile of yours!

Leave them wanting more.

One of the conundrums of the dating game is keeping up the air of mystery. Whilst it might be very clear that both yourself and your beau to be are interested in each other, there is still a dance that must be performed. For instance, if you do get someone’s details, be that a phone number, email or whatever else then don’t be too quick to get in touch. Two or three days is a good general rule as you want to appear interested but not overly anxious for attention.

This will also show that you have an active lifestyle, with things to attend to and other goals you are pursuing which will go a long way to making you seem all the more desirable.

Rules are there to be broken!

Hopefully some of these tips will be of use to you, though as with anything on the path to love things are never as simple as they should be. It’s important to be able to judge each situation and individual as you find them and some of the above listed techniques might not always be appropriate in every moment.

But with practice and courage, it is within your reach to be able to improve upon your own art of flirting and grow more confident when approaching those your are interested in.

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