Emese Taylor

Sex & Relationship Therapist

Book an appointment 07943 621 149
emesetaylor@sextherapist.london

Low Self Esteem or Falling Out of Love with Yourself.

It’s often said that we can be our own worst enemies and this is never the more the case than when it comes to our mental health and well being.

Self esteem is how we all think of ourselves, how we judge our worth and the value we give to our lives. Those struggling with low self esteem will have a poor opinion of themselves and feel that their lives have gone wrong somewhere along the line. This can become a particularly cruel trap as they will often feel that they do not deserve to feel better which makes it harder for them to take steps to improve their situation.

Someone with low self esteem can be seen as having fallen out of love with themselves. And if you don’t love yourself, then it might seem like an impossibility that someone else could love you or that you will have any love of your own to offer.

Those with such negative thoughts are likely to stop valuing their time, their happiness, even their future. Career and educational goals, may not be pursued, they might accept poor treatment from friends and family thinking that they deserve such behaviour and they can even let their health slip into a bad state, with lack of exercise, drinking and smoking being common outcomes of the situation.

To makes the cycle even harder to break, a poor self worth is often due to other emotional difficulties and can be triggered by traumatic events in life, such as the end of a relationship, the loss of a job or a whole host of other problems. The result of this can mean that the individual does nothing to address their original issue or even finds themselves becoming self destructive, adding more and more layers of emotional problems that can seem overwhelming.

Something very important to keep in mind for those struggling under this pressure is that one’s low self esteem is rarely an accurate reflection of reality. It is a state of mind and it can be changed but acceptance of this, understanding of the negative feelings and where they originate from and a strong desire for self improvement, things that are far from easy, are required to overcome this.

This has to come from you and is the hardest step to make on what can seem like a very daunting journey. You will need to change the way you think and in many cases your actions, in particular harmful routines or habits you may have fallen into. Do not forget the the brain is a part of your body and needs to be looked after. A correct diet to allow you the energy you need and regular exercise to keep blood flow through the brain are both ways to help clear muddy thoughts and an important foundation upon which to build for your future happiness.

Friends and family can also play a key role in helping a return to wellness. A frank and open discussion about your need for support may seem a little daunting, but any form of healing is best address with the aid of people you can depend on.

If you think this would be difficult though, then therapy is an option that might be of use to you. Self esteem is an important factor in attracting a suitable partner and if any of the issues addressed in this post seem as though they could be effecting you then we would be glad to talk about your problems and help you build towards a happier future.

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